i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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