after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
