put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
