Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
