You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
