yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
should my penis look like a turkey
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
