I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
