ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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