carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
