im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
