bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
