cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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