Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
ttyl tear gas
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
