she smelled like a LAN party
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
