nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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