Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
