i jhust puked up my retainher.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
