You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
