Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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