I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
