I heard we made out
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
