I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
