Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I need moral support for this bender
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
