I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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