i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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