cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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