I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
