My hair reeks of homosexuality.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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