the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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