i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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