Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
