I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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