Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How's work?
Spinning.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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