her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The ass gains better be worth it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
