remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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