The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
