Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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