Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
