I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
