I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
