Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
