That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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