You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
