Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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