So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
