Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
