What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
