i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
