white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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