whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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