fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sorry about my life...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
