I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
