it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
