Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
