their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
